Monday, June 25, 2007
What is this blog REALLY about?
You know I've been thinking...well not really I just thought... that I have no clue what this blog is about. I mean is it a craft blog? Is it a blog where I just dish about things that interest me? I don't kn0w... I find myself wanting to post about personal things then thinking. "Wait no I can't post that because this is a craft blog and no one REALLY cares about what's going on in your life." But then I really don't care what people want to know about. I try to remind myself that I'm not doing this to fulfill others but to fulfill myself.
That being said....
Today I read a blog about writing and it made me think back to the time when I wanted to be a writer. Just like everything else I ever wanted to "be" it never came about. Now it's something that i would LOVE to be able to do but I think I have lost my voice. By that I mean, I have lost my opinion or my point of view. How do you get THAT back? It's pretty weird. I have the strange feeling like I'm watching myself live life. I'm not really engaged and I don't make any decisions. I just watch things happen. Isn't that a bit strange?! I mean really that's some mental ward stuff, right?
So maybe I need to take the time and actually think about things not just do them. Form opinions not based on what will cause the least bit of friction but what I REALLY believe.
I think that I have become complacent in my mediocrity. I mean let 's face it I have a mediocre job, a mediocre family life and just really a mediocre existence. But what do I expect?! If I'm not willing to engage from opinions, STICK to my opinions what else will I ear have? If I want to go back to school I need to find a way to MAKE it happen. If I want to be more active with my children I need to find activities and DO them. Take them places. Do whatever not just say I'm going to do it and don't. I think that I'm really turning into my parents. And that's the last thing that I would EVER want to do.
It's hard, for me, to be good at life but it seems for some it just comes naturally. They don't have to work at their marriage or being a good friend, mother, wife, sister, daughter. They just are. I wish that I had that ability but now that I realized that I don't what am I gonna do about it?
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